Home Remedies

[jadewik]

This is for Carzal... because he just might try some of this stuff....

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over & going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 & Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

[James]

Hah! Those are great. Thanks, Jade

[mikey taylor]

hahaha thanks for the entertainment during my study break

[Agustus]

addition to #8
a sledge hammer
if part of it shouldnt e moving while another should and both dont work smash it
and #10 is sooo true
so is the opposite
if you think someone is strange before you get to know em there pretty much normal when you do o_O

[Carzal]

look, if I've said it once, I've said a thousand times: the whole mousetrap thing WORKS FOR A REASON. And if it works, don't mess with it.

[boywonder]

lol Carzal, each of those really do have your name on it.

And actually... I've done number 3. To prove a point.

"blah blah put the seat down." "fine." *i walk to the sink in the bathroom, let it rain*

....
don't try that with someone you love. they'll get really mad. and probably not speak to you for a week.


....
and she let her dog into my house and pee on my pillow. she said it was to make me think about going where i'm not supposed to. no matter what, women always win fights. no. matter. what.

[Agustus]

yeah....
they lie so well thats its the truth......