Clan Titan

by **Airman** » July 16th, 2006, 5:25 pm

Lately, the buzz around the Air Force has been that every airman is a rifleman. We are apparently a new military, the job title you hold is in addition to being able to serve as field infantry if called upon.

I have a different take on this philosophy. Every airman is not only a rifleman, every airman is also a recruiter. I can lie to you just like the guys in suits.

So without further ado, a recruiting post for the USAF!

Number one reason for enlisting - See new and interesting places.

Like many young people of this big beautiful country, I had grown a little tired of my usual surroundings. I lived in a small backwater community in Iowa (which pretty much encompasses the entire state), yet believed that I was destined for grander designs. That small corn laden town could not contain me.

So I enlisted, after all you always hear stories of soldiers stationed in far off exotic countries, having a ball. My recruiter Technical Sargeant McDonald did much to encourage these rumors. "As an Airborne Battle Manager you'll be flying 300 days a year. Never sleeping in the same bed any night!" What fun!

Wrong. Force reshaping happened, most airman are being stationed stateside (CONUS) to prepare to deploy to Iraq. To this date I have been stationed at Lackland AFB, Texas. Sheppard AFB, Texas...and am currently taking up residence in the middle of the Arizona desert. The only thing that has been proven so far is there are in fact worse places than Iowa.

Reason two for joining the Air Force. Serve your country in an exciting career field!

"As an Airborne Battle Manager you will be directing combat scenarios to a commander on the ground utilizing advanced satellite imagery found aboard the E3 Sentry aircraft" spoke TSgt McDonald as I signed the dotted line on my new career field. I had enlisted for six, after being promised a 9000 dollar cash enlistment bonus.

Fast forward 4 months later. I'm in my second week of BASIC training, pulled aside to the personnel office being told that I didn't actually qualify for the career field. I was reclassed into open general, my six year enlistment retained, though the enlistment bonus was gone.

I now work in a medical lab. A good career field for a civilian, to be sure. Soon as I'm out of this big blue machine I'll be able to pull down upwards of 40k a year, But I can hardly justify analyzing some retired officers urine as serving my country.

Number three reason for enlisting in the Air Force. Wonderful college benefits.

Sign away 1200 dollars
to the GI bill and you'll earn yourself 50k for college expenses which can potentially be passed down to your children! You won't need it after all, all your schooling in the Air Force is 100% free.

Everything in the last paragraph is true. Shocking, I know. What they don't tell you is just how bloody hard it is to get approved for outside schooling in the Air Force. You need your commanders permission, which is hard to get without strong justification unless you are an E5 or higher. Attaining the rank of E5 takes roughly 4 years, the time of an enlistment.

I'm in a different boat. I have a 2 year long technical school and 2 more years of career development courses after that. I will be in school for 4 years before I can even think about outside education. Fairly messed up.

So there you have it, three excellent reasons to sign away your youth! Just don't plan on staying in for a full 20 years, with recent personnel cuts your reenlistment is all but guaranteed. Contact your local recruiters office today!

by **Ominous** » July 16th, 2006, 9:19 pm

...This is one of the funniest things ever. Seriously. :lol:

Would you mind if I gave this to some of my friends, or posted it on my school's opinion board? I go to a Quaker school, and everyone would just love this.

by **Tordek** » July 16th, 2006, 9:39 pm

Jeebus man, that's something. Grab a copy of Catch-22 and relax!

by **Cheshire** » July 16th, 2006, 11:52 pm

Glad to see you having fun!

by **Zuka Zamamee** » July 17th, 2006, 9:11 am

As my infamous saying goes, "Sucks to be you."

:twisted:

by **Curulan** » July 17th, 2006, 9:50 pm

He should be writing our recruitment posts. Seriously, I mean it.

</sarcasm>

by **Tordek** » July 17th, 2006, 9:58 pm

Just don't be jaded and disillusioned with life now.

by **Zuka Zamamee** » July 18th, 2006, 12:36 pm

Marine recruiters came over today and wanted me to be a crew chief. Heh...and all of this time I was hoping for the Air Force recruiter to come here.

by **Joe** » July 18th, 2006, 1:04 pm

I was at school last semester and had a couple of recruiters come up to me and I told them I hate the army and the government and people with stupid haircuts.

by **Cheshire** » July 18th, 2006, 1:23 pm

One of my roomates is in the marine option at school... one day he recieved a recuriting letter in the mail from the marines to join the rotc

:lol:

by **Zuka Zamamee** » July 18th, 2006, 1:33 pm

*Falls over*

Well, I've been in JROTC for the past 3 years, now to be 4 this year. I guess I might as well put it to use then, eh?

by **Airman** » July 18th, 2006, 8:38 pm

Don't you dare! The only thing ROTC will get you anyway is a couple of extra stripes off the bat, which means very little in the long run. You'll still get lied too, and you still won't have a damned clue as to what's going on in basic through the end of your career.

by **Tharris** » July 18th, 2006, 10:30 pm

i think we are all missing the important thing here airman. and that is you aren't bitter. :lol:

~tharris

by **Tordek** » July 18th, 2006, 10:45 pm

Nothin' wrong with a little bit of bitterness.

by **Rufus Shinra** » July 19th, 2006, 1:20 am

Agreed, good laugh there airman hahaha

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